Not out in the backyard but in the heart... and mind... and soul of every person.
Those aspects of my life which once brought joy but for some reason or another, were placed on a back shelf behind a more important use of time and energy... and left to gather dust.
I've been finding a few of those hidden gifts... once bright in their own limelight... and now difficult to recognize.
My search has taken me to a few websites, many blogs previously unknown, various cookbooks, and to a few reminders of long past longings.
For instance, just yesterday I had the "TV-hooked-up-to-the-antennae" on the Create Channel as I was busy decluttering the living room. Their half-day Saturday marathon was about Valentine's Day and the program I watched featured a California chef as she prepared a special meal just for the holiday.
I'm not certain why that particular program reminded me of years gone by but it sparked a memory of time in the kitchen as I attempted to create... magic. Narnia magic. Something extra special for either a holiday, birthday, or another special event. Usually for one or both of the kids. Perhaps to become part of a picnic at the park or a festive dinner with the Noritake wedding china and matching water goblets.
But I remembered the process of creating was as much fun as the anticipation of the event.
I must admit the journey of relocating Heirloom (and long buried) giftings is still a journey in process. But the journey itself is a good one. Perhaps it is the journey that is the most important part of discovery.
For much like spading the garden soil at the end of winter to prepare it for seeds, the journey is bringing up remembrances of things past and gifts once thought lost. The search is for what lies dormant in the back of my mind, something that once brought joy before being buried in the reality of circumstances and the passing of time.
For instance, I have long admired the knitting projects of a few friends but my feeble attempts at knitting were met with frustration. I have told you before that I did not inherit the knitting gene. However, I have found myself attracted to various crochet websites. Much like the proverbial magnet, they have drawn me back over and over again. I once loved to crochet.
One truth that became apparent is that the gifts I set aside were those with some form of creativity at their genesis. There has always been a need to make something out of nothing (well, let's say to make something out of raw material for only God can make something out of nothing). I believe that is inherent in all man and womankind as we are created in the image of a Creator.
So why do we lay aside those gifts that fill us with joy? In pondering the question, I do think part of the answer comes from the times in which we live. When very tired I tend to watch a favorite TV show or video instead of picking up the crochet hook and yarn.
Women of past generations would do their needlework by lamplight as they had no media to watch. Whether much needed time alone with their own thoughts or knitting as they chatted with their family about the events of the day... this was their form of relaxing.
I think also in today's world there is a cultural untruth that one needs to be a paid professional to create. After all, time equals money you know. Or at least, time should equal efficiency. The Culture would ask if there is efficiency in the setting aside of time to do something for ourselves?
Of course, there is the obvious pull from outside as we work and have church activities and community events and soccer and softball and dance and food co-ops and music lessons and helping with homework and teaching our homeschooler and taking our husband's suit to the dry cleaners and after all of this... getting a healthy dinner on the table.
Then there are the events of life which leave us so bruised and battered that just waking up in the morning in a major accomplishment. We set aside our paints and our brushes and our words and our yarn and our garden and our roses and our quilting and our sewing and pretty much anything that requires any effort as we need all energy to just take that next step.
But the seed is there even if it lays dormant. And the journey I am experiencing in this time of Bleak Midwinter... is to locate the seeds and look for life in them. To brush off the dust of desires and rub off the tarnish of neglect. In spite of... everything and anything.
In some areas I've done this over past years. Once I told my husband the only way I ever wanted to move again is if Jesus took me home, I was hopefully settled in one place for awhile. So he built a garden and I planted. I hope to continue that circle of planting and tending and harvesting.
I never completely stopped writing but 7-1/2 years ago when Stephanie
How about you?
- Is there an heirloom gifting you need to give yourself?
- Do you want to write but never put pen to paper, even to send a letter?
- Is there a long ago spark that was buried by the circumstances of time and events?
- Is there a seed needing to be brought into the light and made able to grow once again?
- Is there a country to visit, a degree to accomplish, or simply a skill to learn?
- Do you want to read every book written by a specific author?
- Have you always wanted to learn to make Artisan bread or kimchee?
- What God given desire has been set aside?
It is never too late for absolutely everything. Yes, one can be past the age for some desires to be accomplished. Twenty-five is too late to become a prima ballerina but there are other options for one who loves dance.
It is never too late to do... something.
So in my quest for Heirloom skills, I have renewed the desire to crochet as mentioned in past weeks. But I'm uncovering other long forgotten gifts and Godly desires in the process. But that is the subject of future posts. :)
Artwork: Woman Reading by Adrian Paul Allinson